“Love & its Edges” and other poems by Anna Walsh

is it

is it ok that i am lying on my bed
not having any useful
or funny thoughts
is it ok that i do this
is it ok that i am lying on my bed
unshowered
and not replying to anyone
is it ok that i do this
for no grand gesture but just
because
i can be lazy sometimes
is it ok that
when i don’t have to work
or go, or eat
i like that i don’t have to
is that ok
to just waste
some time blinking
 

in times of overwhelming panic

 
it’s sometimes too overwhelming
and sad
to be alive
in the world
and to know
that being alive is overwhelming
and sad
either way
you have to sit down
and be quiet
and think,
fuck, i’m so lucky
i love the people that i love
i’m not a total prick
and i can sleep when i need to
 

love & its edges

 
i have decided to start practising
assertiveness, and
telling people how frustrated it makes me
when they don’t wash their plates or
when they make me feel bad about myself.
i don’t know what hurts me more
grinding my teeth almost constantly
or you when i start to say no
 

ugly

 
i am so bored of
trying,
trying to be
good, trying to be good
at trying
 
why does success have to be measured against something else?
 
i am trying
not to be the messy girl, the
person who needs people so
nakedly
they cannot be around her
for more than an evening
 
i hate realising things
it is like
that moment of
disconcert, when you
squint at your screen in the sun
to check the time
you see your face
and then you can’t see anything else
 
Love & its Edges and other poems is © Anna Walsh