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Chris Murray

  • “Soon” and other poems by Lisa Bain

    April 17th, 2020

     

    Soon

    “Let’s get together soon,”
    without setting a date
    is the tactic we always use
    to keep others on the line
    without actually giving of our time.
    You’ve made it clear you don’t have time for me,
    so why would I tell you my secret
    when everything would have to change?
    I’m torn.
    I’ll be a burden either way.
    I’m stuck trying to decide which is more humane.
    Do I inject grief now into your too busy timeframe?
    Or wait and risk you maybe cursing my name
    because I didn’t give you the chance to say goodbye?
    I tried to tell you in my wordy way
    but forgot you never read what I write,
    so wouldn’t know I was going away.
    The words are just too hard to say.
    So sure,
    let’s get together soon.
    Someday.

     


    Bubbles

    Swamp bubbles lurched from the mud below
    belching the stench of repressed memories I hadn’t let go.
    Forgotten trauma attacked in waves,
    pain and self-loathing vomited in saving grace.

    Wiping my mouth with the back of my fist,
    I staggered to my feet,
    this memory I would no longer resist.
    Screaming my rage across the sky,
    the swamp fell silent, still full of dark stains left to die.

     


    Umbrella

    We didn’t have an umbrella but,
    laughing, you grabbed my hand.
    Those Irish blue eyes were dancing
    as you pulled me along,
    dodging cars and cold November raindrops.

    Inside a turf fire was burning.
    Hot whiskey in hand,
    we leaned in to hear over pub noise.
    And despite the late hour,
    we yearned to linger.

    But we left once we were dry,
    laughter subdued as confusion took hold.
    The fire had warmed more than intended.
    Were we becoming more than friends?
    The opportunity to find out
    washed away with the last of the rain.
    We didn’t have an umbrella.

     


    Too Small

    No one hears my screams as I claw,
    bound and trapped,
    by barbed wire skin
    two sizes too small.
    I bleed and can’t catch my breath.
    Why did I put it back on at all?

     


    Blind

    My heart is surely going blind.
    I used to know every fleck of gold
    In your hazel eyes,
    Even if mine were closed.
    I can’t see your eyes anymore.
    I panic when I stumble and bump into the pieces of the old me
    I no longer recognize; the ones I never put away.
    The ones that now make me trip and fall.

    My heart has gone deaf.
    I used to hear the sound of your voice
    Even if you were far away.
    Like a buoy ringing out on a foggy sea, calling me home.
    Now I can’t hear you at all.
    In silence, I wreck upon the rocks and frown.

    So I stare at photos, holding them close to my dying eyes,
    And watch you get blurry and fade.

    Please don’t disappear.

    Soon and other poems © Lisa Bain 


    Lisa Bain became a young widow in 2016 after losing her husband to cancer. She quickly learned we live in a grief-phobic society that isolates the grieving even further. The Boise-based author began writing to work through the grief process. With both humor and heartbreak, she incorporates grief and bereavement issues into her poetry, short stories and her debut novel Heart of a Kingdom (The Light Network, 2019). Her poetry focuses on snapshots of love, death, and starting over. Sometimes they rhyme. Read Lisa’s website here

    📓A Widow’s Guide to Self-Isolation.

  • “Bitter Gourd” and other poems by Nishi Pulugurtha

    April 15th, 2020

    Bitter Gourd

    The dense green is a nice photo-op
    I hold the mobile in my hand
    As I look around for something that grabs my attention
    I notice a bitter gourd hanging beautifully
    The leaves creeping here and there
    Entwining with the dead branches fallen all over
    Hues of green and brown
    I see another one peeping from behind
    A small one
    Ridged
    Fallen seeds and nature’s work
    Among all the dirt, there it was
    Pushing back so much of the unwanted
    Breaking out
    Pushing
    Carving a small place
    Being seen
    Uncared but there.


    Overhead

    Noun
    Cost of expense
    Such as lighting, equipment
    Any little extras
    Paid for out of a fund
    For medicines?
    For fruits and vegetables?
    For groceries?
    For staples?
    For a child’s education?
    For living generally . . .

    The electricity bill is too steep
    The main is switched off
    The old lady sweats in the heat
    But then who cares.
    The ‘overhead’ needs to be curtailed.


    My Son

    The worship of the goddess is done
    The festivities are all over
    Durga is Shakti, power
    Why do we pray to her?
    When the wife is ill-treated
    Insulted, humiliated, burnt, kicked, stifled, chained, mistreated.
    No one bothered about me in my marital home
    Marital house
    It is only after my son was born that they began to behave well towards me.
    Am I just a womb?


    Does it Really Matter

    Some might talk
    Some judge
    Some arrive at conclusions
    Some read things into it
    Why? What made you?
    Loads of questions
    Questions on questions
    Everyone seems eager to find out
    Inquisitive, Curious
    Prying
    Questions that needn’t require answers

    Dr. Nishi Pulugurtha is an associate professor in the department of English, Brahmananda Keshab Chandra College and has taught postgraduate courses at West Bengal State University, Rabindra Bharati University and the University of Calcutta. She is the Secretary of the Intercultural Poetry and Performance Library, Kolkata (IPPL). Her research areas are British Romantic literature, Postcolonial literature, Indian writing in English, literature of the diaspora, film and Shakespeare adaptation in film. Dr. Pulugurtha has presented papers at national and international conferences in India and abroad and has published in refereed international and national journals. She is a creative writer and writes on travel, film, short stories, poetry and on Alzheimer’s Disease. Her work has been published in The Statesman, Kolkata, in the anthology Tranquil Muse and online – Café Dissensus, Coldnoon, Queen Mob’s Tea House and Setu. She guest-edited the June 2018 Issue of Café Dissensus on Travel. She has a monograph on Derozio (2010) and a collection of essays on travel, Out in the Open (2019).

  • Poems by Christine Murray at Indelible (AUD)

    April 11th, 2020
    dont-stand-so-close-to-me-lorette-c.-luzajic-2020
    download Issue 3 of Indelible (AUD) at this link🌹

    LABRC's avatarIndelible

    Murray 1Murray 2Murray 3

    Christine Murray lives in Dublin with her two children Tadhg and Anna. Her poetry has been widely published, both in print and online, in chapbooks, anthologies, and journals. She founded and edits Poethead; A Poetry Site that is dedicated to platforming work by women poets, their translators, and editors. She is an active member of Fired! Irish Women Poets and the Canon which seeks to celebrate and draw awareness to the rich cultural heritage of Irish women poets through awareness-raising and reading. She currently curates the Fired! archive at RASCAL (Research And Special Collections Available Locally- Queen’s University, Belfast).
    Christine Murray’s latest poetry collection “Gold Friend” is forthcoming in Autumn 2020 with Turas Press, Dublin.

    Poethead Website: http://www.poethead.wordpress.com
    Twitter:  http://www.twitter.com/celizmurray
    RASCAL: http://www.rascal.ac.uk/institutions/fired-irish-women-poets-and-canon

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  • ‘Irish’ by Paul Celan

    April 11th, 2020

    Chris Murray's avatarPoethead by Chris Murray

    Irish

    Grant me the right of way
    over the cornstair to your sleep,
    right of way
    over the path of sleep,
    the right to cut turf
    on the shelf of the heart,
    come morning.

    by Paul Celan



    Irish is by Paul Celan from Fathomsuns and Benighted, trans Ian Fairley. Carcanet Books, 2001.

     

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  • “For Us, Fragile Things” and other poems by Aishling Heffernan

    April 4th, 2020

    Your Silence.

    I have kept this brand of violence in my heart,
    A broken strange sort of shard,
    That is unrelentingly hard,
    That is as pale as western sunlight,
    Covered by western clouds.
    Painting your house,
    In strange colours
    For my eyes to digest –
    Quiet memories,
    Of your strangely coloured pain.

    It was silent,
    this pain.
    But it breathed lullabies and simple lies
    into my defensive warring mind.
    When your strangely coloured pain,
    entered me, and it tasted strange,
    I decided then to again, and again, and again
    create words to voice the silence
    that took the power of your pen.
    Because I could not paint the colours of your
    strangely coloured pain –
    I had no conscious way, then.
    Because silence has no colour,
    And no recourse but to regain,
    its strange brand of violence,
    that shakes colour from the world,
    and the voice from your pen.

    What a surprise it was,
    years later,
    to see the Eastern sky burst to life,
    when I was too old
    for circumstance to matter.

     


    Moment of Infinity.

    The scent of us
    is wasted on cheap sheets.
    Across the pulling of my waist
    I can feel the wasting of our heat.
    Glints of rain scatter across my nearly
    shuttered eyes,
    I want to stay awake to soothe you,
    and find myself surrendering to the scent and feel
    of you instead.
    You soothe me, instead.
    There’s a melody you’re humming, or maybe it’s me,
    your feet tap, while I sing,
    and hold the back of your neck in the palm of my hand
    as the air between us tingles.

    The blending of us, is so many colours.

    These moments are like lullabies that soothe something sore.
    Something I closed a door on.
    These moments, where our hearts beat and dimples show,
    then recede, as something a little more serious
    begins to appear. Heartbeats fall, dropping slowly in the night air,
    air that can’t even touch us here.

    You know, I loved being cold around you.

    I could feel a warmth that had nothing to do with temperature –
    it had weight and mass, and beauty to it.
    It was this heat in some small way,
    That was our moment of infinity.

     


    For Us, Fragile Things.

    I still hold the anger sometimes,
    just below my ribs.
    It seeps there, like liquid bone, and
    runs up.
    It coats my shoulder blades and I –

    I hunch under its weight,
    and wish I could drag it out.
    But it seems fused to my midsection,
    this mistake that seemed to be
    the ultimate misdirection.
    You.

    I’m reminded of smoking with you –
    on summer days that were too hot,
    the smoke hit my tongue where your tongue
    could not.

    When solid things seemed to shift and sway,
    My heart became untethered,
    As yours flew away.
    And there we left each other –
    In that desert we called
    Together.

    It was
    Silly things – or maybe not.
    Eating dinner without me,
    Not pulling out the other side of the table –
    More interest in video games …
    – but then, I don’t blame you.
    I willingly gave up the keys to my life.
    I closed the lock and shut the door,
    in case any monsters wandered in,
    that might hurt this fragile thing.

    This fragile thing.

    It took a long time to realise that love
    is only fragile,
    when ego matters more.

    I’m glad I lost myself in you.

    I know now that this fragile thing,
    Can survive anything.

    You were not the ultimate misdirection,
    But the key to the strength
    That I find now in my liquid bone covered midsection,
    That sings in frequent, relentless connection,
    about the wonders of misdirections,
    For us
    Fragile
    Things,
    Whose lungs learned to sing
    About all these silly things.

     


    It’s Enough.

    The car is rumbling
    stuttering, hopping to the finish line on the byline of our conversations where so much sits and waits in the sidelines,
    the drums are on again, it only took telling me there was something called
    ‘ghost notes’ to get me to agree
    I had a headache after we walked the hills,
    and the kids asked me
    ‘When will you marry daddy?’
    I laughed, with joy
    Because it meant something then.

    I didn’t know that you were so bad with empty spaces,
    when I loved them.
    It hurt more than anything to know that there were parts of you that were
    Average.
    And parts of me that were too,
    And parts of me and you and both of us that decided average was enough, and I wonder what it means when you get just tired enough
    to drop your dreams, and explain it in the eternally bland
    “It’s just tough”
    That’s why, when your sister texted me, after we had broken up, I responded with,
    ‘It’s enough.”

     


    Aishling Alana Heffernan likes to think of herself as the embodiment of organised chaos. In her short(ish) life, she has overcome progressive pain diseases, has met ex-prisoners of death row, interviewed Ted X speakers and gained a Masters in Philosophy of the Arts. She loves bouldering and the sea, and can often be found in the thinking ‘woman’ pose while learning how to code. Having been born in Ireland at the brink of an intense culture shift, her writing takes in fantastical elements of sexuality, religion and identity.

  • “Lady Jesus” and other poems by Arathy Asok

    April 4th, 2020

    They ask me questions
    I will not answer

    They have come to ask of me,
    Many answers they sought.

    They did not look at my breasts,
    Or between my legs.

    It was my eyes,
    And inside my head they probed.

    They put out their hands
    And broke open my skull;
    They looked in to see
    What thoughts I hid
    Between the folds of my brain,
    The slime, the blood, the people.

    They wanted to know what it was from them
    I was going to take,
    Which were the hands I held,
    What were the forests that I walked,
    The words I nursed,
    Like hot iron branded in my soul;
    They look to see
    What crowds were being formed,
    That thought of the little raped girl,
    The boy who wrote poems
    And was jailed,
    Of the pregnant woman
    With the stillborn child in her lap.

    And when they put back the pieces together
    They looked to see
    If I was one of them.
    That was what they wanted
    After all;
    To know if I was one of them.

    Or if I was the one
    That stood outside their door,
    With my fingers raised
    In questions.


    YELL

    Gujarath.
    You sting me still.

    When they come out in the night
    Their torn wombs hanging with dead children
    Their shaven head branded with “OM”
    Their vaginas split open
    Their breasts bitten broken.
    When he* walks around me
    His calls unanswered, thrice,
    When they torment him more
    As he refuses to laud their country,
    His fingers chopped,
    Then his hands and feet
    Dragged by the fork
    Thrown into fire.

    He lifts his hands to me.
    They lift their hands to me.

    I can see it coming
    The saffron gods in their chariots.
    I have to tell you then,
    Before it is too late,
    To think.
    To think.

    Histories of lies that you live with,
    Mounds of forgetfulness you sleep on,
    The world you think secure,
    Lying under your booted foot;

    I have to tell you.
    It is your blood.
    It is your blood.

    Hang your heads in shame.
    Carry the skulls from the farmers.
    Walk with them they killed,
    Walk with the landless,
    Walk with them with bewildered eyes,
    Who hide in dark corners.

    Your children look at you
    For answers. (*Ehsan Jaffri)


    NO COUNTRY TO OWN

    What will people do,
    Who have no city to call their own?
    Whose houses are four corners they turned,
    When life took them.

    What will such people do,
    Who long to grow roots,
    But who stumble when they see faces,
    Trying to recollect
    Each face from a dead memory
    Memory that was not born, naturally.

    What would such people do,
    Who want to know what it is
    To dwell under the same sky,
    The same sunrises and sunsets,
    A meal on the wooden table
    At times in the sun,
    And the evenings
    A circle around the tea cup.

    What would they not do to swing their hands,
    In the alleys ways
    Knowing for sure
    The next corner they must turn?


    STRANGER LOVES

    You are another country
    I ventured into.
    Blank windows
    That did not latch,
    But opened into
    Strange skies, unknown stars.
    Yet when you smiled
    The ocean was another day;
    And I stepped blind
    Dumb, dusted, worn.
    The water crept into me
    Lifting into you, waved
    And I drowned.

    Drowned.

    When I rise,
    The sky in my eye
    Is the blue
    You left behind. 


    Lady Jesus

    The doors are closed.
    Even the windows.
    No eyes blink.
    I walk around the house once.
    Twice. Then again.
    I touch the walls to see
    If they have broken.
    A little hole, tiny,
    Hiding from my eye
    Through which I can look
    Into the darkness inside.
    But nothing.
    The home has become a house.
    She has died, rotting on the cot,
    She who smiled at me like a wild gypsy,
    And told me to hide love letters under the green leaves.
    Without her the jackfruit tree is bald.
    The fisherman does not look in.
    Here again,
    I wait for the wind
    Under a sky
    To carry some smell
    That I missed
    Which would pour
    Water down my spine
    Closing the hole they drilled,
    On my hand
    My feet
    My breast.


    SISTER WOMEN

    Sister,
    That mountain country you speak of,
    Those women
    The ones whose breasts
    Were free,
    Unrounded,
    Hanging , lean, fleshy.
    The ones whose feet were kept apart carelessly,
    Who flung their hands
    In wild abandon.
    I see them sitting before you,
    Cold tea between us.
    There was no revolution, you said
    No bloodshed
    No foreign flags.
    None.
    I saw them
    Dangling their feet,
    Sitting on the rocky hill,
    Looking into the blue sky.
    And I saw their ankles,
    Chainless, soft, pink
    And soles, the soles of their feet
    Where rough roads
    Met
    Violently fusing desires.
    I saw them,
    Sister,
    I saw them laughing aloud
    I saw the toothless gums
    And the toothed ones
    The wide-open mouths
    The ringing echoing far away.
    I saw them hold hands;
    And your eyes, sister,
    Your eyes,
    That spoke of this dream
    To be born at home.

     


    Muslim, Rohingya, Three years

    Sometimes there is a little bit of me sticking out like red meat.
    The flies swarm around it.
    I know there is rot spreading a little from the edges.
    It started the moment I saw the little girl floating in the water.
    A Rohingya, she floats from Myanmar to my doorstep,
    When we are getting ready with the flower carpets.
    Her face is bloated. Her eyes closed.

    On her red dress, the butterflies are still alive, flitting on
    the half-opened flowers.

    She does not seem surprised.
    Where are the others who walked with her?
    The mother whose hand she left the moment the water took her in?
    The sister she laughed with a moment ago?
    The father she looked from afar?
    The brother who carried her around?
    The friends under the tree with whom she played before they came to kill?
    I cannot see them. The water is cold where she floated bit by bit into my eyes.
    Was she a Muslim? Was she Budha’s enemy?
    I do not know.
    The moment I saw her face I felt the rot spreading,
    And now I am almost dead.
    It is not the water. I know.
    It is not the Buddha. I know.
    I saw him close his eyes in prayers, like she had closed hers in death.

    Lady Jesus and other poems © Arathy Asok, 


     

    Arathy Asok’s debut collection Lady Jesus and Other Poems is described by the Journal of Commonwealth Literature as “Resistance poetry with a sharp edge” (2019, Vol. 54(4) ). She is a bilingual writer and was featured poet at The Blue Nib Magazine (Issue 37, Ireland). Her poems have appeared in national and international journals, in print and online (in Samyukta, Poetry Chain, anti-heroin chic, Poets in Nigeria, Blue Nib magazine, Door is Ajar, Womaword Press and Culture Cult). They are included in an Anthology called Native Petals, Nocturne and Iliyali (USA). Her short stories in Malayalam have appeared in Madhyamam Weekly and English short stories in Rupture (Pakistan), Credo Espire (USA) and have been translated to her mother tongue and published in Indian Express Malayalam Online.

  • Research pioneers 6: Gerardine Meaney

    April 1st, 2020

    Dr Deirdre Flynn's avatarIrish Women's Writing (1880-1920) Network

    The publication in 2002 of The Field Day Anthology of Irish Writing: Women’s Writing and Traditions volumes 4 and 5 was a watershed moment in Irish literary history. Gerardine Meaney was among the principal co-editors of this endeavour, which evolved in response to the failure of the initial three volumes of The Field Day Anthology to dedicate due attention to women’s contribution to Irish literature. Gerardine Meaney is also one of two Irish women to be awarded an ERC Advanced Grant in 2020, the first two women in Ireland, in any discipline, to gain such an award. In addition, she has shaped the field with her monographs on Gender, Ireland and Cultural Change (Routledge, 2010), the co-authored Reading the Irish Woman: Cultural Encounter and Exchange, 1714-1960 (Liverpool University Press, 2013), and extensive list of journal articles and chapters on a range of Irish women writers – including Katherine Cecil…

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  • “Stagehand” and other poems by Jade Riordan

    March 31st, 2020

    
    
    Old Ink
    
    A glass mountain 
    to sip from the laments
    lost deep in the earth
    
    A ladder to climb
    home again
    
    A heap of gold		
    en years
    through which 
    the light 	shone in
    
    O see 
    the open window	
          rot	
               hurt		
                       ribbon
    of all that had happened
    
    O 
    rejoice still	
    
    We have lived
    
    
    The above poem is an erasure of Margaret Hunt’s 1884 translation 
    of “Old Rinkrank” from Household Tales by the Brothers Grimm.
    
    

    
    
    Mint Family
    
    The summer blossoms
    with fields of French lavender—
    dress in perfumed air.
    
    
    
    

    FireShot Capture 325 - Untitled document - Google Docs - docs.google.com


    Stagehand and other poems © Jade Riordan

    Jade Riordan is an Irish-Canadian poet, an undergraduate student at the University of Ottawa, and a selection committee member (poetry reader) with Bywords. Her poetry has appeared in The Blue Nib, Cordite Poetry Review, Corvid Queen, Eunoia Review, Noble / Gas Qtrly, Room, and elsewhere.

  • “Morning Yearning” and other poems by Alanna D. Merriman

    March 28th, 2020

    Morning Yearning

    The time it takes to know one’s ticks
    Is a short, round the clock to
    Twenty-four
    To love them takes only one
    With blindfold eyes in bedroom
    Morning, empty coffee cups

    Dusty shakes of mindless thoughts
    Importance comes too late
    When idle happiness warms
    Their train seat home

    Why does time excuse endless
    Troupes of productivity
    Deemed impossible to achieve
    When achieving it?
    You find that useless, mindless thoughts
    Bring only an abundance more.

    Where are childhood ticks in
    Tin-cans and
    Orange juice cartons
    Empty by the kitchen sink?

    Rooftops and dreamlike
    Catch-up conversations
    Take me to bed through the
    Gapped stone walls
    Where my body rests on adrenaline buds
    Minding them for morning.

     


    Landmark’s Difference

    Come in off the street
    Out of the cold
    Into the dense air
    Of bustling business;
    Bright eyed

    The same faces knocking
    From pillar to post
    Protecting their silent
    Protests

    Yearning for the openness
    Of country caravans
    And wood cabin comfort;
    There’s no solace
    In the city

    Only endless shafts shifting
    Culture to crude creation
    Ugly unanimous agreements
    Pitch only imperfect pictures

    Where is the sound
    Of silent night
    When tumbling troupes’ traffic
    In the thick of it all?
    The wind waits in brambled bushes
    I fear my journey home

     


    The Night’s Natural Beginning

    Fog outside the windows
    Cloud misty viewpoint darkness

    Captured tusks of white grow
    Dusty, coarse and grey

    Fallen as the snowflakes
    In a city boy’s apartment

    Middle end beginnings and
    The reckonings of shame
    Collide.

    Where is the sun to warm my
    Neck longing to be golden?

    The time of blue arrives with
    Empty ducts of tears

    Cold, pitch-black coffee cups
    Leave rings on bedside tables

    While she makes way back home
    To wait for sunrise

     


    The Wall

    Construction.
    Each part of you that
    Cares and loves
    And
    Wants to heal and
    Love
    And give and give

    Mixed with particles
    Of priceless pain

    They will not let you in
    Not for separation
    But to keep you set
    In your place. Defence
    Without recognition;
    Consideration. Shutting out, no bars
    Just solid wall

    The barrier yet the safety net also,
    How can that be?

    Stuck
    Comfort; discomfort
    Just the wall
    Wall
    All-purpose wall
    Purpose, need
    At the expense of what?

    The expense of life and progression,
    The expense of leaping into the eternal everlasting

    Failure, repeat
    Progression, failure
    Repeat sadness,
    Hurt
    Regret
    Progressive passion
    Regret, repeat

    With all of you, all your strength can give
    All of your fibres and good talk of motivation

    Clap and
    Cheer
    And
    Smiles and
    Proud, proud, proud.
    Radiating,
    Seeping.

    I wanted to hold your hand
    While you jumped to the other side

    You had me encapsulated.

    Morning Yearning and other poems © Alanna D. Merriman

     


    Alanna D. Merriman is a 20-year-old thespian obtaining her BA in drama and Performance. As she is from Kilcoole, a small village in Wicklow, but living in Dublin city centre, she avidly writes about the comparison between these two very different environments. Still figuring out style and format, the essence of her poetry is fluid and observant in the shaping of life by the attachment we have with emotions and memories.

  • “Writing with Light” and other poems by Gerry Stewart

    March 26th, 2020

    Writing with Light

    Finnish Photography Notes

    Guided by imaginary intersections,
    fumbling our heavy DSLRs,
    we learned the rules
    for rhythm and repetition,
    aperture and cropping.

    My notebook sketched
    the tutor’s words in haste.
    They resurface beyond the lens.

    Organise your space.
    I carve out this new home
    without maps, using rough translations
    and neighbourly advice.

    Exaggerate the angles.
    Each experience becomes bigger,
    more muddled.
    I focus along sightlines
    to the extremes
    until I can make sense
    of the finer details.

    Never cut away the long shadows.
    If I cannot embrace
    the long Finnish winter,
    I can view its sharp oblique light,
    from skis or over a hot cup of glöggi.*

    Leave the house,
    explore the parts of the world
    where you don’t belong.
    Blend in with the locals,
    find what attracts you to strangers
    in their silence, in their open faces.

    Travel light.
    My unnecessary luggage
    and expectations are abandoned.

    Arrive early, leave late.
    Wait for the decisive moment
    to speak those hesitant first Sanaa.

    Don’t put the subject in the centre.
    Yet even out of shot
    I am always fully exposed.

    *warmed mulled alcohol or fruit juice served in winter


    Slow City Unwind

    The Hidden Gardens, Pollokshields

    Unseeing strangers blur,
    heads down, rushing off.
    The rain-mirrored street
    a reminding nudge.

    Signs offer no way out.
    Brick walls. Cigarettes stubbed.
    A black bag afternoon caught
    in the branches of a stunted tree.

    I enter through the sandstone gates.
    Grasses bow below a horizon
    of hazy tenements.
    Stones scarred by workers long forgotten
    hold the warmth of my hand.

    Whiplash leaves rise
    into a painted sky
    the colour of seagulls’ wings.

    Stake a claim, slow down.
    My voice buries itself
    among the pine needles
    after a day of borrowed words.

    I soak up through open pores
    the unruffled sunset and rill song,
    ease myself away from the current.
    Rake away the debris of a hectic life.

    Carved wood and soaring trees
    rest the spirit, a sanctuary
    to keep impulsive winds at bay.

    Sap rush.
    I translate the garden’s poems
    and expand my roots.


    From Scratch

    A tangle of tree roots, moss
    and clay-bound shade,
    a gift of apple trees and berry bushes.
    All day sun and space to roam.

    I dreamt of this new garden more than the house.

    The first year’s fruit exceeded
    our ability to cope.
    I simmered pot after pot
    with a newborn in my arms,
    every morning let my eldest
    eat all the raspberries.

    Before the ground has defrosted
    our window is full of little pots,
    dirt trailing everywhere.

    My daughter sprinkles her seeds
    with haphazard joy
    while I painstakingly transplant seedlings.
    Hers will flourish,
    blessed with whim and wishes
    while mine struggle to adapt.

    We cut back thirty-year-old trees:
    koivu, kuusi, tammi, pihlaja, punaherukka*:
    logs for the fire, mulch,
    sticks for childhood games.
    Our patch feeds our Finnish life.

    The sun traces the arteries of roots
    across the unmown lawn,
    awaiting autumn’s gift of leaves
    to rake and rake and rake again.

    A parcel of land:
    fit for hide and seek,
    treasure hunts and first steps,
    cups of tea and doing nothing.
    Our home.

    *birch, spruce, oak, rowan, red currant


    Moon of Winds

    February / March

    A thawing crack in spring’s resolve,
    frost gathers along our ridges,
    tight as white-knuckled lichen.

    Uprooting gales
    no longer push through us,
    still we search for a finger-hold,
    a bolt hole in the lull
    of the rain-scrubbed city.

    A thin shaving of new moon
    blown into bent oak branches,
    taunts us with a Cheshire cat smile,
    hunger in its whiskers.

    You can ease out your breath
    among old brick, foundations
    and familiar ground
    but I struggle to release
    my bone-serious grip.


    Thunder Moon

    July / August

    The piebald moon darts
    between our flashes
    of galloping inspiration
    and the rumbles of routine.

    My comfort is found rewriting
    and weeding plotlines,
    the slow trust of my work
    growing word by word,
    seeding clouds with potential.

    At the first signs of heavy,
    threatening skies
    your dark twin pulls you
    out of alignment
    slipping a knife-edge
    between tight shoulder blades.

    I sieve fragile strands of sunlight
    into your open doubts
    to recharge your reserves.

    Counting on the preceding calm,
    we test the air, anticipating
    the next adventure or upheaval.
    A welcomed foreboding.

    Writing with Light and other poems © Gerry Stewart


    Gerry Stewart was born in the US, but has lived in Europe for over 25 years in Norway, Greece, Scotland and now Finland. She is a poet, creative writing tutor, and editor. Her poetry has been widely published in the UK, Europe, and United States since 1997, including Black Mountain Review, Crannog, From Glasgow to Saturn, Hanging Loose, Hidden City Anthology, Island, Orbis, Poetry Quarterly, Poetry Salzburg Review, Pushing Out the Boat, Scrittura, Skylight 47, Southlight, and The London Magazine. Her collection Post-Holiday Blues was published by Flambard Press, UK in 2008. In 2005 she received a Scottish Arts Council New Writer’s Bursary for her unpublished novel Talking Italian in my Sleep which has been long-listed for several competitions.

    Her writing blog can be found at http:/thistlewren.blogspot.fi/

     

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